A few funnies... and 25 things my sister learned while being a substitute MOM!

"Mom... is that your REAL face?"  Me...Halloween 2006

My beautiful sister Johanna and I leaving the hospital... I wanted to spend at least 1 day alone with her!

This time the picture is a little lighter for you to see her real beauty!

Thank you to the E-Business Team for this BEAUTIFUL flower arrangement that came to my house last Thursday!  You can't see it, but in the vase are sea shells, and there are more dangling from the overhanging flowers as well.  This is not a flower arrangement... but a WORK OF ART!

Taylor hanging out with dad, eating ice cream and watching TV.  You can see my little cot in the background, where I slept beside Johnson for 10 days until his release.

Stephanie eating some fresh fruit with dip on my cot during a visit.  As you can see, we had many cards and flowers sent by all our dear friends.  Thank you!  Special thanks to Stephanie and Taylor's class for such beautiful cards they made us and all signed!  We loved the Valentine's Day heart very much and taped it on our window!

Let's start off with a quick funny.  So I've just finish showering the other day, and have done my hair and am about to apply a little make-up to try and feel better.  I have my foundation on, but nothing else, when my eldest daughter Stephanie walks in, stares at me intently and says... "Mom....is that your REAL face?"  I crack up laughing because... SADLY.. it is my real face!  HA HA!!  Aren't kids great... they just tell it like it is.  When I reply in laughter... having to grab my stomach each time I laugh cause it hurts, I tell her "Why yes it is Stephanie? What do you think?".  She says... "Well, I wouldn't want you to wear that face on Halloween to my school."  So there you have it!  Did you see my Halloween picture from this year?  In case you missed it, here it is!

As well, I wanted to put a picture up of my little sister Johanna (Jo-Jo), who took over the job of MOM for 2 and 1/2 weeks for me.  She did an amazing job, and without her, this transplant would not have been possible.  She really cracked me up, when she provided me a list of 25 things she learned during her adventure being Substitute Mom!  I just have to post it here for all of you to read!  Those of you who have kids will really get a kick out of this list, and I will try to explain it the best I can.

25 THINGS I LEARNED BEING A SUBSTITUTE MOM

1. Pull ups are GOOD and peeing the bed is BAD.
    
2. An 8 year old will correct you if you forget to or incorrectly lock a door.
    
3. It takes skill and practice to make a lunch that will get eaten and not returned back home.
    
4. After fixing the BEST LUNCH EVER!! (peanut butter and honey roll-ups) that I was sure would get eaten, I found out later that peanut butter is NOT allowed at schools!
    
5. Children can survive on Tacos alone.  (once Jo-Jo found out that the girls would eat Tacos, it was Tacos every night!)
    
6. When you make a promise... you will have to keep it!  (But you said so Jo-Jo!!!)
    
7. You CAN get two girls ready in the morning in 1 hour. (Provided you do not spend 1 minute fixing yourself up, and your OK with wearing a toque to school... cause it covers the yucky hair!)
    
8. Horseplay at bedtime... NOT such a good idea, when YOUR the one putting them to bed!
    
9. Never ask for travel directions from a 6 year old...they do NOT care where you want to go! (Taylor kept telling Jo-Jo that she knew a short cut to school, so she told Jo-Jo to turn here, turn there...etc. Then my sister sister asked Taylor where they were going...to which Taylor replied... "I don't know?". HA HA HA! She was lost!
    
10. Apparently a child who is on anti-biotics, should not be sent to school or daycare for a 24 hour period. (Apparently only REAL MOMS know this one! Not fake ones like me!)
     
11. Do NOT park in the "No Parking Zone" at schools, because they are monitored by the crossing guard, and things not only could but did get NASTY! (Great...I'll never be able to show my face there again!)
     
12. This is my personal favorite!!!  If a child tells you they have had an "Accident"... FIND THE UNDERWEAR!  They may contain more than urine, and if left in a backpack for an undetermined amount of time... is NOT pleasant!
     
13. If milk is left in a sippy cup overnight, it curdles!  GAG!!!
     
14. One Aunt CANNOT do the job of two PARENTS!!
     
15. Doggie feminine napkins need to be changed frequently!  (I mean who else would do this for me I ask?) Jo-Jo...you are the BEST!
     
16. Doggie feminine napkins are expensive, but are exactly the same as feminine napkins, so substitutions are allowed!
     
17. People who go to CHURCH are GREAT COOKS!!! (My sister Johanna says she gained 10 lbs on all the generous food provided by our Church friends!)
     
18. Delicious desserts = WEIGHT GAIN!
     
19. Homework in grade one "IS" complicated...and needed to be explained to "ME" by the teacher!
     
20. Being told by a 6 year old that I am NOT smart is not very encouraging! (Taylor wanted to go to our caregivers house name Julie...because she wanted help with her homework, and when my sister Johanna said she would help her do it, Taylor replied... nope...I want to go to Julie's because she is SMART!)
     
21. Children do NOT care if you are in the washroom! (Apparently Jo-Jo didn't know that there is NO privacy at ALL once you are a mom, and that little ones will walk in on you and just start telling you about their day!!) HA HA!!
     
22. I can recite the Gingerbread Man story in my sleep, and Taylor is right... the little fox at the end IS a little SCARY!  (This was Taylor's project at school, she needed to learn and be able to tell the whole Gingerbread Man story.  She recited it PERFECTLY to me while in the hospital...but apparently... was too shy to say it to her teacher!)  Good work anyway Jo-Jo...sorry that this story will be forever embedded in your sub-conscious!
     
23. Just because children are quiet... is NOT necessarily a GOOD thing! (I'm not sure what this one is about...but I can only imagine!)
     
24. Flattery will get you an extra half hour of television AFTER bedtime! I AM THE GREATEST AUNT IN THE WORLD!!! (Every night... Stephanie would beg for an extra 15 minutes of TV... and every night Jo-Jo would cave... then Stephanie would tell Jo-Jo... "Your the greatest Aunt in the WORLD!  That's candy to any ones heart!)
     
25. Crack shacks are hard to explain to 6 and 8 years olds!  (As you all remember my sister is an RCMP Police Officer... while driving to the hospital the day she arrived... she mentioned a "Crack Shack".  The girls immediately picked up on that phrase, and said... "Aunti Jo-Jo... what's a crack shack?"  Boy she was stuck trying to explain that one, and I was busting a gut laughing at her analogy of... "Well girls... it's kinda like an abandoned birds nest... it's an empty home, that another bird finds and inhabits...) They didn't quite get it, and as a matter of fact.... neither did I! HA HA!!!
    
    Lipstick = $2.99
    Jo-Jo's Favorite Jeans = $60.00
    Swearing Penality = $1.00 (Because the RED lipstick mysteriously got into the washing machine...?)
    Oxy Clean = $6.99
    
    Your sister and brother in law trusting you to care for their precious children while in the hospital, and getting to spend an AMAZING amount of time bonding with your neices = PRICELESS!!
    
    THANK YOU JO-JO!!!  Johnson and I are so PROUD of you!  I am forever in your debt!  All you have to do is ask me for anything and I will be there for you!!!