Here is Johnson working away in his home office!  Love the ironing board desk!

Jo-Jo... this one's for you babe!  Johnson's bringing "SEXY" back!  Your boyfriend awaits!

Well yesterday I had me a little pity party at home, called in sick, and tried to sleep my sorrows away.  It only lasted until 2:30PM which is when I got out of bed and started to prepare supper for the family.

Keeping busy helps.  As soon as the girls got home, I fed them, and then Johnson has been working way too much this week with allot of extra to do since one colleague is away on vacation, and another is gone from his team because his Grandmother passed away.  So Johnson is busy working on SAP security, running transports, and many other tasks at work this week.  He basically get's home and is on his computer all night.  Picture this...he prepares all of his dialysis solutions on his cycler, then put's the laundry board at the edge of the bed... on it he put's his laptop, connects for his dialysis, and starts to work.  He stays there until 1:00am most nights this week.  It's really a comical site, and my sister Johanna has been privy to see his office set up like this before.  We think it's hysterical!  Actually I'll do one better than to say just picture this, and I will go take his picture and post it!  Ha ha!

So I was busy feeding the girls, then bathing them, cause it's shampoo and conditioner night too.  Then it's blow drying their hair, while Stephanie and I practice her "Book Talk" for next week, where she has to present a talk on her favourite book, and state the Title, Author, Illustrator, Fiction or Non-fiction, where she got the book, give a brief description of the book, tell us her opinion of the book, and then her recommendation of it.  That's allot to remember for a 7 year old.  Man... I tell you... they give kids WAY TOO MUCH homework these days.  After bath time, it was downstairs to have a bedtime snack...Johnson was able to join us for this short time, and then I read to both the girls a bedtime story and finally kissed them goodnight. Me tired! 

I can't sleep while Johnson is busy working at his bedroom office because he is on transports, and people will be paging and phoning him all night, so it's off to the spare bedroom for me.  I'm actually liking this bed allot.  It's more comfortable than my own mattress I think.  FOAM mmmmmm.

I am very very sad today.  Johnson tries to comfort me in the morning and asks if he can help.  I tell him, I just need to go through these emotions by myself, and just feel it.  A little depression sinks in, and I'm allowed a day or two of feeling sad.  I've been strong for so long...since September... and so what... I've become unglued for a day or two.  I CRY!  It's a pity too, cause I've just done my makeup for the day and it's NOT waterproof! Ha ha!  I cry to prepare myself for the worst.  I'm getting ready for it.  It's just my way.

I go to work, and my boss asks me how am I, and if I'm better today.  I try to slink into my desk and try to feel invisible... but it's no use.  I tell him I'm sad, and I sit at my desk, wiping my nose, drying my eyes.  I sniffle for at least an hour.  Work keeps me busy and helps to keep my mind off of waiting for the results of my tests.

I get an e-mail from our dear friend Ken (met in Hawaii)..."Hi Ken!".  He says he's been reading my little blog and he wants me to be strong and keep the faith!  He's praying for us!  Then I have another cry, because I so embrace these types of e-mails... they help keep us strong!  Thanks Ken!  He is so kind.

Later in the day...I'm on the phone with a client and my big boss makes a delivery... Flowers for me!  Not just any flowers mind you... but TULIPS in January!  Beautiful long stem tulips!  Only one person in the world knows that it's not roses for me, but tulips and that's my honey Johnson!  He knew I was so sad, and had these beautiful flowers delivered to my office.  Imagine that... he's the one trying to cheer me up?!  What's wrong with this picture.  So I'm a little more sad, cause gee... I'm only the one who won't be able to give a kidney...(I know I'm jumping to conclusions...), he's the one who won't be receiving one... and he's trying to cheer me up?  Really... the best way for me to explain how I'm feeling is truly heartbroken.  I'm crying again!

I went to pick my daughter Taylor up from Sparks tonight, and a few of the moms and I were waiting in the lobby silently, when one lady, I didn't know asked if I was the woman she read about in our local newspaper, who raised $12,000 for diabetes, and who's husband is awaiting a kidney transplant.  I answered yes, and then all of a sudden the whole room started to talk about it when they realized that I was "that woman" who hosted the fun fair in our park, and that I was "that woman" who was going to run in a marathon...that I was that woman going through these hardships with our little family.  It was nice to talk for a few minutes with these ladies.  Women really care...many asked that if they could be of any help at all in the coming months to not hesitate to ask.  How nice is that?  The kindness of strangers.  Sometimes it's more than our own families offer us. (This does not include you Mr. and Mrs. John if your reading this!) You have helped us allot, and I know how concerned you are for us.   You offer your help to us all the time, and we are extremely grateful.  Thank you to my sister Johanna (The RCMP officer in Surrey BC) who has been "ON CALL".  She is the only one I trust to take care of the girls should this transplant be a go.  My other sister "Brenda" has generously offered to fly Johanna down on the fly, to be here to take care of the girls as well as Johnson and I.  I love my sister sooooo much!  Both of my sisters have really stepped up to the plate on this one!  THANK YOU.  My little sister Johanna, is not only willing to take my place should we proceed, but she herself was suppose to have a surgery of her own this month, which she put on hold just for me.  I love you Jo-Jo.  I love you "B & John" for offering to compensate any time off from work, should any of Johnson's brothers wish to come forward and try to donate a kidney to their brother.  I love you "B"!  Thank you for stepping up to the plate!  You both know... I would do it for you both in a heartbeat!

Tomorrow night I'm having two girls nights out!  One that I have with old colleagues every couple of months, where we have dinner right after work and talk!  I really look forward to talking with these two special ladies!  Then another lady in our neighbourhood is hosting a little dessert night for the ladies of the neighbourhood.  Normally we all see each other outside all summer and chat away.  But it seems as soon as the cold comes, we all hibernate, so this is a way to get us all together for another chat time.  I'm planning on bringing me a few glasses of wine to let loose a little and relax.  Good thing I only have to walk a couple of houses home!  Ha ha!

Well... I think I'm running out of space, so I'll call it a night!  Good night to all of you.  I'll update again soon!